


Laisse mes mains sur tes hanches

by bunnybinnie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 70s Slang, Alternate Universe - 1970s, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Bittersweet, Childhood Memories, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Kim Seungmin & Yang Jeongin | I.N are Best Friends, M/M, Mechanic Yang Jeongin, Rich Kim Seungmin, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Slice of Life, Social Issues, Summer Love, Summer Romance, Summer Vacation, a bit cliché but that's okay, lovers to strangers, not endgame, set in the french countryside, the title is in french but the fanfic is in english, very brief mention of drug use at one point but it's like one sentence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24944965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnybinnie/pseuds/bunnybinnie
Summary: They knew they wouldn't have the chance to grow old together. It still hurt when they had to say goodbye, and the memories were plentiful in that summer heat.or, they spend every summer together until they're not anymoretitle taken from adamo's "mes mains sur tes hanches"
Relationships: Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	Laisse mes mains sur tes hanches

“Will we see each other again?” Jeongin asked, his voice not above a whisper.

Seungmin swallowed, his hand taking his best friend’s. His thumb started drawing tiny circles on his skin as he shrugged.

“I don’t think so.”

The younger slowly nodded, not daring to look up. Seungmin took him into a hug, patting his back as his eyes were looking at the sun that would soon start to lower behind the trees.

“You should go, now. I don’t want you to get home late,” Jeongin said, breaking the hug and sniffling but still smiling at the elder. “It’s a long drive, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, yeah it is.” Seungmin answered in a humourless laugh.

“Drive safe.”

“Will do.” There was a pause. They hugged again, just for a short second, patting each other’s back. “Goodbye, Jeongin.”

“Bye loser, see ya. Have some fun in Paris for me, yeah?”

Seungmin laughed with him and got in the car, his friend closing the door for him as he sent him off with a wave of the hand and a huge smile on the face. That’s how they had said goodbye last year when Seungmin got his driving license and went in town for the first time by himself, and that’s how they were saying goodbye now, as if it wasn’t the last time.

And as Jeongin was getting tinier and tinier in the wing mirror, Seungmin realized how real everything was. He wouldn’t come back here. It was a part of his life that was ending, and he was leaving behind his closest friend, maybe more than that, but he would not dare to admit that. His stomach sank when he left the small town, going for the highway.

Jeongin watched him leave, fully knowing it would be the last time but not really processing it. It was only when he walked back home on his own that he realized. So, instead of going home for dinner, he went for a walk.

He sat under the weeping willow, looking at the river. Was it always just this tiny thin flow of water? He remembered a time where the river was big, the tree was huge, and he was light enough to grab its branches and jump over the water. That’s where they met for the first time, back when they were still two children. Jeongin was playing with his friends after the last day of school when that child none of them knew approached them.

“Can I play?” he had asked. He spoke like people on TV and maybe it made them quirked an eyebrow.

They had all shrugged but Jeongin, him, was intrigued. Here, everyone knew everyone, so seeing a new face was kind of weird. They had talked, Seungmin was a shy child whereas Jeongin was extremely outgoing, and despite it all they had clicked.

Summer after summer, Seungmin would come back. Each summer they would meet again, play again until it was the both of them spending each summer holidays together, sometimes with Jeongin’s friends as well. Eventually, they grew up. They didn’t really notice it, until now when Jeongin realized he couldn’t remember when the last time that they had jumped over the river was.

Maybe that’s what growing up is all about. It’s about the first times, the discoveries and the experiences, but it’s also the last times that you don’t know that they are until it’s too late.

He threw a pebble in the water, watching it sink in a ridiculous ‘splash’ sound. He stood up and went down the street, walking towards the main square. He felt a hit of nostalgia when he remembered going to the fair with Seungmin in mid-July. He could not help but smile when the memories of Seungmin going up and down in his tiny airplane on the merry-go-round came to his mind. When they were children, he used to pout every time they would go down the ride as Jeongin was younger but taller, and he would _always_ be the one to catch the bait and win the gift. But even as young as seven or eight years old, he would give the gift to Seungmin, saying it was a souvenir from their small village. To be fair, Jeongin only wanted to see his friend smile and clap his hands like he would always do when he was excited. He didn’t know why back then, but it would never fail to make him feel a bit fuzzy inside. And when they were done with the fair (or rather, when they had spent all the money Seungmin’s grand-parents and Jeongin’s parents had given them) they would go down to the wash house and sit by the water, always finding a way to hug or hold hands. It was a bit humid and dark, and Jeongin’s parents never liked him going down there (they would always ramble about ‘junkies stabbing themselves’, and maybe it wasn’t completely unfounded) but in the day-time, it was always empty. On top of that, since it was covered by an old structure in red bricks, it was one of the best spots to cool down after a long hot summer day.

Smiling to himself, he walked straight until he passed by the school and ended up at the top of a slope. Or, as they used to call it ‘the death slope’. His fingers instinctively went to brush the scar right on his cupid’s bow as he remembered his sadly famous stunt.

When they were ten, Jeongin and Seungmin were going around the village on their scooters. Seungmin was a bit of a scaredy cat and Jeongin would often tease him about the way he would rarely go out of his way to try new things. Jeongin was a reckless child and obviously, when they had found themselves at the top of the slope, he had launched himself, ignoring the elder’s voice.

“It’s too steep, you’re gonna fall!”, he had said, not risking following his friend.

At first, Jeongin was laughing as the wind was making his teeth feel dry, but when his scooter started wobbling, he got worried. A second later, his scooter was going down the road without him, and Jeongin had transformed into a ball. He had rolled a little bit before his body stopped moving. He hadn’t felt the pain at first, still confused about the whole situation, but as soon as his eyes had seen blood he’d screamed. Seungmin had come running towards him, inspecting every wound, and trying to calm him down.

It wasn’t _that_ bad, but he was wailing uncontrollably and screaming. Seungmin had tried to make him walk, trying to take the scooters with them as well, hoping they would quickly get to his grand-parents’ house. On their way, he had stopped crying.

Jeongin couldn’t really remember what happened next, but he was sure he would never forget how worried Seungmin’s grandmother had been. She had taken him to their fancy bathroom, washing the dirt and the dry blood off his face while healing the wounds (which were, thankfully, not as serious as they looked). He could also still remember how tight Seungmin had hugged him after that, scolding him a little for being so reckless. Jeongin had apologized and Seungmin had made him pinkie promise to never do it again. Sadly, he could also still remember the dirty look Seungmin’s grandfather had given them though at the time he couldn’t really put a word onto why.

He sighed and put his hands in his pockets, now reaching the newly built basketball field after the slope. He remembered when it was still plain grass. He would come here and play with his friends all year long after school, since it is right down the school block, but the most memorable stuff always happened in the summer.

He walked across the playground, until he reached its end and there was the tree in which they would always go in and hide from the world. There, they had played numerous games. From playing pretend, making up stories where they were pirates or lost on a deserted island, to when they were a bit older and just wanted to talk about stuff that they both thought they could only share with one another.

That’s where they had shared their first kiss, when they were 15. There, hiding from the whole world, they were sitting on the big branches. Jeongin was talking about how all his friends were getting girlfriends, and maybe they’d been teasing him about him not having one. And maybe he was worried, because he liked girls, but he didn’t want more than being friends with them. They were pretty, but he never felt what his friends would say. He never fantasied about kissing them, not even holding their hands. And maybe, just maybe, saying that while his hand was intertwined with Seungmin’s was a sign they both couldn’t ignore.

“I just kinda wish I knew what it felt like to be kissed.” He had said, looking down as he felt his cheeks blush.

Seungmin had laughed and said, “You’re adorable.” Jeongin had looked up, ready to give him a hit with his elbow, but he didn’t as the other boy had softly put his hand on his cheek. They had locked eyes and Jeongin had gulped, his stomach twisting in various ways that he still, to this day, didn’t know how it hadn’t made him puke.

“Can I?” had asked Seungmin, his face suddenly as unsure as Jeongin was.

And he had silently nodded, maybe a bit too eagerly because Seungmin had laughed again. Next thing he knew, their lips were pressing against one another. It was more of a peck really, than a kiss. Then they had parted ways, smiling like two idiots before kissing again, this time with more certainty. Seungmin’s hand had left his face and was on his thigh, while his own hands were grabbing Seungmin’s waist in an attempt to pull him closer. Their mouths had opened, and their tongues had shyly met, the both of them not fully sure of what they were supposed to do. It was a bit messy, but when they had stopped, faces flushed, they both _knew_.

“Now you do,” had said Seungmin, snorting. And Jeongin had shook his head, scared and fascinated at the same time by the butterflies that were still going bonkers in his stomach. All of the things his friends had described about their girlfriends, that’s what he’d felt with Seungmin this one time. And the time after that, and the one after that. And all the other times. Because once they had kissed, they never really stopped.

Until last summer. Seungmin had come in town saying he had a girlfriend. She was nice, pretty, and his parents liked her. She was his age and planned on going to college to become a doctor; she was quite the ambitious girl.

And Jeongin… Jeongin had smiled, congratulating his best friend but they both knew. They both knew his happiness was as fake as Seungmin’s love for her. Well, he did care for the girl, but he wasn’t in love. The two teen boys knew, but never said a word about it. The kisses stopped. The hand holding too. They stopped hiding. They were just friends again. Two dudes being bros. They didn’t know that the last time they kissed would be their last.

Jeongin sighed, leaving the playground and still a bit salty about how things had turned out. Hell, he knew that him and Seungmin would never really be more than this sort of summer love; their worlds were too different. Seungmin had his life all planned out for him. He would go to college and later replace his dad as the CEO of his family’s company. Jeongin, on the other hand… He would only get to run the town’s garage just like his dad before him. He always knew that was what life had for him, and he was ok with it really, he liked this job. He grew up helping his dad, learning all there is to know. His hands were calloused and stained; Seungmin’s were soft and clean. That’s how they knew they would never have more than those stolen kisses.

And then, there was this summer that was now nearly ending. At first, Jeongin wasn’t excited per se, since how things were between them since last summer. He hadn’t welcomed the city boy as he usually would, instead staying with his dad at the garage, working some extra hours to help out. He had been focused for quite a while on a motor when Seungmin came in quietly. His hands were skilfully playing with the engine, touching up and oiling stuff here and there, sometimes wiping the excess off his fingers on his jumpsuit.

“Hi,” had said Seungmin, startling Jeongin who had almost hit his head onto the car’s bonnet. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Welcome back, loser.”

Seungmin had smiled before asking if he could hang out. Jeongin had glanced at his father who was approaching them.

“Oh my, summer really has started huh?” He had said, shaking Seungmin’s hand after lazily cleaning it off with a stained cloth. He had then smiled at his son, patting his shoulder. “Hop it, there’s not much left to do, an old codger like me can handle it! Come on, scram!”

The two teenage boys had thanked him and left, walking around the village until Seungmin suggested to drive somewhere.

“We could have some fun, you know, going to the movies or eat out, maybe drive all night! Oh dude! I know! We could even go to Lyon!” His face had lit up.

Jeongin had never gone to Lyon, the city was way too far away from his small village for his family to even have an excuse to go there. Even when his dad needed new pieces for the garage, he would drive to the nearest town and it was nowhere as big as Lyon was.

And yeah, they both knew they would get grounded when coming back home but did they care?

“Wait, I need to tell my parents first,” had said Jeongin and both boys went back to the younger’s house. After exchanging his work clothes for a summery outfit, he had yelled a short “I’m staying at Seungmin’s tonight!” to which his mom had said “Take a bottle to give to his grandparents to thank them, then!”.

Seungmin had been waiting for him, standing against his brand-new car that only reminded Jeongin of the social gap between them. To say that his jaw had dropped was an understatement.

“Is that a Corvette?” he had said, bewildered.

“It’s bitchen, right!”

Jeongin had lightly touched the car with the tip of his fingers, his lips mouthing a silent ‘wow’. He had seen those on TV and in magazines, but they were even more astonishing in real life.

“Hop in!” Seungmin had added, already getting in the car.

If Jeongin’s mind had been blown away by the simple idea of a car going that fast on the road, what happened that night was unforgettable. They had drunk, eaten in a restaurant and went to a hidden place where Jeongin had not been expecting to see a party going on there. Hidden once more from the whole world, Jeongin had meet others just like him for the first time. Seungmin had smiled to him and winked. The younger boy was looking around him, very much looking in awe. There were not a lot of light and the music was not as loud as one would expect it to be, but the atmosphere was… oddly comforting. People were just themselves and having fun. There were men in dresses, their faces covered in a lot of flashy make-up. There were men kissing and dancing in a close embrace. Some were wearing basic outfits very much like Jeongin and Seungmin were, others had dared to go out in very revealing and tight clothes (was that leather?). In a corner, he had seen two women flirting, kissing, and drinking. Everyone had moved their bodies for hours to the tune of _White Queen_ or _Nights on Broadway_ without a hint of shame, and it’s most likely Jeongin’s heart had bloomed that night. He had sworn to himself that one day, he would own one of these record players, just like Seungmin had in his bedroom, and listen to these songs as a nice madeleine moment.

And when they had danced the night away, his cheeks had remained red for quite a while just by remembering the whole evening.

Lost in his thoughts, Jeongin tripped on a small stone. He shook his head and noticed how low the sun was. The sky was looking like a painting, going from a pinkish tint to a more orange tone at the tip of the trees. He glanced at the watch on his wrist and winced, knowing he would be in trouble for staying out late.

He walked home, his eyes still a bit puffy from the tears he did not even bother holding in. When he opened the door, he threw his shoes on the side and found his parents in front of the old television, a fan circulating hot air. It definitely felt stuffy in there. Some windows were wide open, and the lights were off as to not attract mosquitoes, leaving only one candle so his mom could knit.

Jeongin ignored the look his parents gave him and just threw himself on the sofa, next to his mom, right where the foam had grown hollow after years of daily use. Not long after, he put his head on her shoulder, already feeling how hot and sticky their skin was. His mom gently pushed his hair out of his forehead, wiping away some beads of sweat.

“Are you okay, baby?” she asked him, still petting his hair.

He did little more than shrug, his long fingers playing with the hem of her shirt.

“I’ll miss him,” he mumbled while she was putting away her knitting needles on the small table in front of them.

“I’m sorry pumpkin,” his mom said in that small voice she would use when he was younger, after a bad dream. It was comforting, and the light petting on his head started to make him miss those days even more.

He missed when he was a child and his only worry was to get back home on time. He missed the summers of his childhood, when he knew for sure his best friend would be there again. When he didn’t have to worry about not liking girls because no one was expecting him to settle down sooner or later.

He sat himself straight on the sofa, taking a deep breath before muttering a quick “I have to tell you something,” His dad’s eyebrows furrowed, and it almost made him back down, but something was telling him it was now or never. “I like men.”

Almost crying, Jeongin was waiting for the dramatic gasp, maybe his dad’s voice shouting at him, or whatever. None of that happened. Instead, his mom simply smiled and said: “Oh pumpkin, that’s alright, no need to cry for that!”

His dad got up and asked him to do the same, which he did. He gulped, not daring to look at his father. Yet, the old man’s deep voice asked him to do so.

“I won’t say I understand, but I want you to live a happy life. And if that’s what it takes, then it is what it is, I have no say in the matter. I will only say… Don’t expect others to understand that lifestyle. It will be hard. But you are my son and I will stay with you every step of the way, because I know what missing a father is like.”

His dad put his hand on the back of his neck, giving him an awkward smile. He then patted his shoulder and pinched his cheek, like he would always do as a form of saying ‘I’m proud of you’. Though the words were never said, they had been in his mind more than once.

When Jeongin went to bed that night, struggling to find sleep, he had no idea that one day he would find himself in Paris as well. He cried a lot before finally drifting, but maybe he would have cried less if he knew one day it wouldn’t hurt as much. Because in a near future, he would leave his village and go to the city until he would find his way up to the capital. Life still wouldn’t be easy, and he would live off of a thankless job, but at least he would have a roof to live under and food in his plate. He would grow out of feeling ashamed, instead campaigning for his, _their_ rights to stop hiding and living in fear.

And even if he never saw Seungmin again, he never forgot about him. With him, he had learned to love, so he could later love even stronger. He could only hope for a world in which their love could have happened. Maybe it would come, one day. So, he would try to be happy for the younger generations, but for now he would have to be content with what he could have. He would sincerely believe that what would be there for him would be the best he could hope for.

That night where ‘happy’ seemed impossible and unreachable would have been easier if he could have only foreseen the tenderness with which another man would put his hands over his waist and kiss the crook of his neck. He would be loved in the cold, in the rain and even when the summer air would make his hair stick to his forehead, and when his skin would have that smell of heat while he would be mindlessly scratching those mosquito bites on his calves. One day he would stay up late on his flat’s balcony, appreciating the thunderstorm that would make the digits go down, exchanging a kiss with a man that would be his and tasting the ice-cream on his tongue. And when the shower would come, they would get inside, the refreshing air of the stormy night enveloping their sweaty bodies and they would slowly dance as the record player would play a few songs of their teenage years, Jeongin’s voice like an echo of Adamo’s singing that sweet ballad. He would find his new favourite song in his lover, and together they would make the most beautiful melody.

He would one day be as happy as he felt heartbroken that summer night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I tried to make this as accurate as possible, but if there are still some inaccuracies I apologize.  
> Also I don't know why I decided to set that story in France, but I did. Every place in this fanfic exist irl :D (well, Paris and Lyon are obvious lmao)  
> Hope you liked it!!
> 
> (songs:  
> Queen - White Queen https://youtu.be/f8usNj4x9NA  
> The Bee Gees - Nights on Broadway https://youtu.be/5wRM-t7wvF0  
> Salvatore Adamo - Mes mains sur tes hanches https://youtu.be/d0qFU4Bhbg8)


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